Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
