Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
