can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
