You really coming over, don't trick.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
should my penis look like a turkey
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
