we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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