Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
