I feel like abortions should bother me more
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
