We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
