omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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