I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
