I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
