Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
