Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
