on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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