He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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