i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
