I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
