you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
