By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
