Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Randomize
