Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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