It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
