I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
