he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
