another moral hangover. fuck.
I have demons in me.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
