We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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