I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Im part way to drunk.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
