are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
