She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
