I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
