new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
