please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
