Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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