I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Let's paint friendship bongs
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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