wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
