He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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