Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
