i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
