At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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