Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
