lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
