Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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