I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
