This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You took a bar mat shot.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
