If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Houston, we have a squirter
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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