Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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