He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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