Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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