You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
