have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
