you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
